Scattering Self All Over The Internet
When I was a kid, I read the comic book Betty’s Diary, because I was cool like that. In one issue, there was a story where Veronica, Betty’s best friend/nemesis, read Betty’s diary. She was always trying to read Betty’s diary, and this time she accomplished her goal and sneaked a look while Betty was in the bathroom. But the diary was full of mundane details that bored Veronica. After she left, sniffing in disdain that Betty’s diary was no big deal after all, Betty sighed in relief. It turned out that the diary Veronica had read was only one of three diaries that Betty kept.
One diary was Betty’s “every day diary,” where she wrote down basic details of her life–what she did, what she ate, who she saw, etc. This was the diary that Veronica read, and since it contained no juicy details, Betty didn’t care all that much that she had read it.
Then there was the diary that Betty hid in her desk, which was more intellectual and detailed. It had her thoughts, opinions, and gossip about other people, the kind of thing that Veronica would have liked to read. Luckily, Veronica didn’t find it.
The third diary, which Betty buried in the back of her closet, was for her secrets and “questions about womanhood” and other important things. It was her super-secret diary, the place she retired to when she wanted to think deep thoughts. Thank goodness Veronica hadn’t found that diary.
As a kid, I was fascinated with this concept. I kept a diary and several snooping friends had read it, so I was interested in finding better hiding places and keeping the diary a better secret. I wanted to know what kind of material would go into the super-secret diary versus the middle diary, and I wanted to know what she meant by “questions about womanhood.” I thought it might have something to do with Betty’s period, but I didn’t know what you could possibly write in your diary about your period that would be so deep and secretive. Briefly I considered trying the three-diary method myself, but quickly concluded that it made diary-keeping too complicated. Besides, I had enough trouble disciplining myself to write in one diary, let alone three.
As you can see, I took this comic book very seriously.
It occurred to me yesterday that the current way people share their lives on the Internet is a bit like a public form of Betty’s three diaries. There’s Twitter and Facebook, taking up the role of the mundane diary with the daily details of what you are doing and what you are eating and what you are thinking about in the moment. Then there’s the intellectual diary, places where people give opinions and engage in a dialogue, such as topic-oriented blogs like Word Pirates, or forums, or comments on other blogs, etc. Then, for the few of us who still keep personal blogs, there’s nothing left to talk about except the stuff of the self that really shouldn’t be on the Internet in the first place.
It’s all a bit strange. In a way, I’m grateful that things like Twitter exist because it forces people to report on their meals and plans for the weekend in a short, defined space rather than a rambling blog entry. But it also cannibalizes the personal blog. I often find myself wondering what to say on here since I have been saying things in so many other places.
Privacy on the Internet is a complicated concept when we are all putting so much of ourselves out there in the first place. Ideally, you should never say anything on the Internet that you aren’t comfortable with everyone in your past, current, and future life knowing. But I can see how, with the frequency of updates some people do, it’s easy to forget and let your guard down, to speak out of emotion or spout off half-formed opinions. It is hard to constantly anticipate how something you are saying will be seen from every angle. I have been doing this Internet thing for awhile now, so I’m pretty good at editing myself, but I too went through a stupid phase of over-sharing. Luckily that was back in the late 90s when no one was paying much attention to the Internet.
So there’s a constant tension between the fun of putting yourself out there and the risks of doing so. I can’t tell you how many times I have lost all respect for a celebrity based on his or her comments on Twitter. I wouldn’t want a potential employer to feel that way about me. Therefore, I will employ the Betty’s diary analogy whenever I say anything on the Internet: Would you want Veronica to read what you just wrote, I will ask myself? No? Then keep it in the closet where it belongs.
