Sometimes writing feels tedious. It takes a lot of patience to slow my brain down and translate my thoughts word by word onto the page. In the future, I could see myself getting suckered into one of those devises that connect to your brain so that all you would have to do is think for the words to appear on the page. It would be less frustrating and it would increase my productivity by a lot. Yet at the same time, I’m concerned about these attempts to develop technology that can read people’s minds. It just can’t be a good thing. I mean, who does that benefit, really, other than quadriplegics and evil geniuses and lazy writers? No, no, it’s better we don’t have devices that read our thoughts. I should just try to type faster.

1. For some reason, the people who go to your store are rude. I have noticed it every time I have visited. Maybe you could hand out a booklet or something informing your customers of the existence of other people and encouraging them to say things like “excuse me” while in your store. Thoughts?

2. I don’t understand why the shelves I bought there in the past have doubled from $20 to $40. Is it because they sell well and have a huge profit margin? In any case, they are still black particle board that I have to put together myself.

3. Speaking of that, why does particle board, foam, and cheap fabric = $349? Please explain.

4. All of your sofas look like thrift store finds.

5. Since you are charging five cents for plastic bags now, I helped myself to a liberal amount of the free twine you have out front. I figure it’s only fair.

Thanks,
Joy Lanzendorfer

P.S. Someone…um…”used” one of your display toilets upstairs. Maybe you need to put up a sign, or include a section about that in the booklet I suggested. In any case, ew.

You make Lemon Meringue Bars.

Yesterday, I decided to try out one of my Mom’s recipes, a twist on lemon bars: shortbread crust, creamy lemon filling, and a layer of meringue on top. They are fantastic. The meringue is so fluffy, it makes the whole lemon bar seem light and delicate. I highly recommend these.

Kyle is getting a little tired of lemon dessert, though. Maybe I will move into savory lemon recipes next.

(My lemon tart)

UPDATE: Lemon Meringue Pie Bars Recipe

Crust:

1 c butter
.5 c powdered sugar
2 c flour
.25 tsp salt

Blend ingredients together and press into a 13X9 pan. Bake 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

Filling:

1.3 c sugar
.5 c cornstarch
dash of salt
1.75 c water
4 egg yolks, slightly beaten
2 Tbs butter
2 Tbs lemon zest
.5 c lemon juice (4 lemons?)

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Gradually add water and stir until smooth. Cook over medium heat until mixture boils, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir about half of the mixture into the egg yolks and then return the egg-yolk-mixture to the pan. Stir over low heat until mixture bubbles. Remove from heat. Stir in butter, zest, and lemon juice. Pour filling over crust.

Meringue

4 egg whites
.25 tsp cream of tarter
.5 c sugar

Beat ingredients until peaks form. Spread over hot filling.

Bake at 350 degrees until meringue is light golden brown, roughly 25 minutes. Refrigerate 1 hour or longer before serving.

What does a girl do when there is a writers strike and TV is even stupider than ever? Experience life more, you say? Go to concerts and plays and literary events? Have people over for food and sparkling conversation? No! She watches movies. Lots of movies. Here are some I’ve seen recently and what I think of them:

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead — David-Mamet-wannabe script, annoying clippy editing, overrated on all accounts.

Juno — Entertaining and sweet, despite quirky indie status.

Sweeney Todd — You know how in Kill Bill, the blood spurts ironically from people’s bodies in fight scenes? Blood spurting, not ironic here.

East of Eden — Was James Dean drunk when he made this movie? Why is he lying in a bean field? Oh no, now he is howling like a zombie. Watch out for zombie James Dean!

Broken English — Admirable. Parker Posey rocked, the writing is excellent, and character development/emotions are interesting and fresh. Nice to see an intelligent movie about a woman.

I Am Legend — A satisfying zombie flick. Will Smith is still cool. But the scene with the dog made me cry and cry and cry. And cry. Seriously. I was traumatized.

Sex and Death 101– Could someone explain to me what the hell happened to Winona Ryder?

I’m Not There — Refreshing to see a movie with a non-linear plot. Very enjoyable movie until Richard Gere appears. Then suddenly not a movie about Bob Dylan anymore–is a movie about Richard Gere being a cowboy.

The Waitress — Made me want pie.

I am bummed about Heath Ledger passing away. He was one of the few young actors I liked. To cheer us up, here’s Jerry O’Connell making fun of Tom Cruise.

(Transcript of the original video)

This weekend, I went snow-shoeing in Yosemite. It was the first time I have:

Gone camping in a national park

Stayed in a cabin covered with canvas

Done any sort of winter sport

Seen people ski

Snow-shoed

Snow-shoed on an expert trail

Eaten hot dogs in the snow

I had been to Yosemite a lot, but never with friends, and never to stay the night before. The park is much less crowded in winter and just as gorgeous.

El Capitan

The first day, we drove up to the park, found our cabin, and looked around Yosemite. By the Ansel Adams Gallery, a herd of deer were eating leaves in the snow.

We stayed in a heated tent/cabin–a wooden cabin frame covered with canvas. Yosemite at night is nearly as impressive as it is in the daytime. The snow glows in the moonlight, making for dramatic views even in the dark.

Sun setting on Half Dome.

The next day, we went snow-shoeing. As mentioned before, I had never done anything in the snow. In fact, I’ve only been in snow a handful of times in my entire life.

LtoR: Marcia, me, Kyle, Stephanie, Justin

We hiked up to Dewey Point, a 7-8 mile round-trip. At first, snow-shoeing was a lot of fun. It was surreal to see all the landscape covered with snow and to know we were walking on top of bushes. We didn’t see any wildlife–except for a spider–but we saw lots of cross-country skiers, all of whom looked exhausted to me.

Kyle jumping off a rock in his snow-shoes

Unfortunately, the trail we ended up on was somehow an expert level, which was a lot for the first time snow-shoeing. Turns out going up steep hills in show shoes is hard. On top of that, we were in a hurry because we wanted to make sure to get to the top of Dewey Point and back in time to return our snow shoes. I had a hard time keeping up with everyone.

However, at the top of the hill, we had hot dogs in the snow. Justin cooked them on his camping stove, which is a nifty little gadget. Having a hot dog picnic cheered me up.

Justin cooking the hotdogs

Dewey Point is alarmingly high up and there is nothing to prevent you from falling to your death. Kyle was very concerned I would fall, but I thought it was all completely awesome.

A shot of the drop–I believe that circle in the middle is a meadow covered with snow.

On the way back, we took an easier trail, which was a relief for me. Still, this was one of the hardest hikes I’ve ever done. It felt like we did 15 miles instead of 8 miles. Despite this, I’m really glad we went. Thanks to Justin and Stephanie for arranging it all.

Kyle and me at the top of Dewey Point

Make a lemon tart.

I can’t wait to see if this thing tastes as good as it looks.

UPDATE: Yep.

This is the last piece.

UPDATE II: Leona has requested the recipe. I got it from 64 Sq Ft Kitchen. I followed the recipe almost exactly, only I found that the cooking time was much shorter–20 minutes instead of 30-40 minutes. Enjoy!

Could someone tell me what this plant is that is in my backyard? It’s a tree about 20 ft tall. It is covered with purple berries. The birds don’t seem to eat the berries, so they may be poisonous. The leaves seem to be turning yellow, so the plant may be deciduous (then again it could just be unhealthy).

I am thinking it might be an elderberry. Does anyone know? I am trying to decide whether to replace it or not.

Berries up close

The leaves

And a shot of the tree (it’s foggy today):

UPDATE: It is probably a Mexican Elder. The berries taste like leaves and have no juice. The plant is ugly, although it does provide a lot of privacy in the backyard.

Long term plan: Remove tree. Replace with an avocado?

I know, in theory, that I’m supposed to write about writing on here, but I never seem to do it. I think writing is always going to be a private endeavor for me. As for writing-related links, I’ve been posting that sort of thing over at the Word Pirates blog.

Still, I think I should write something about writing on here. After all, it’s one of the biggest parts of my life. So, here are two writing-related things I started in the new year that are working so far:

* I’m focusing on what I produce, not what happens to the writing after I submit it. In other words, instead of focusing on what an editor thinks of a query, I make the goal about writing the query itself. As long as I write X in X period of time, I’ve done my job. Beyond that, it’s out of my control. This keeps me from going crazy. If editors ignore me or reject me or fail to see how X is a good idea when other, non-competing magazines are jumping on the same idea pitched by other writers–well, fine. I tried. I’m just doing my job.

* I’m reading one new literary journal a month. One is all I can make time for, but it’s a lot more than I read last year. Lit journals are full of cutting-edge story structures and new ways to think about writing, so they shake up inspiration. I’m actually dreaming of new ways to write short stories because of this new habit. I highly recommend reading lit journals if you do any kind of creative writing.

Oh! Bonus writing thing: Marcia and I are going to Writers with Drinks at the Make-Out Room in San Francisco on Saturday. Aimee Bender will be reading. I really liked her short story collection Willful Creatures. Hooray!

Michelle Richmond has summed up the move that made me lose respect for Hillary Clinton–when she voted for the War in Iraq. Like Richmond, I can’t get past it.

I remember being stunned at the support for military action against Iraq in Congress and the Senate [following 9/11]. When the resolution passed in 2002, I felt as though all of Washington was living in some weird post 9/11 version of Oz, where no one questioned George W. Bush’s motives, and no one dared pull aside the curtain for fear of exposing the true nature of the inept little wizard; they took it for granted that, because the U.S. had been attacked, the wizard spoke for all of us. If they had doubts, most of them kept those doubts to themselves. To me, the massive support for military action among powerful Democrats was an unforgivable case of cowardly politics. Because no matter how one feels or felt about Saddam Hussein, any rational course of thought would lead one to the conclusion that launching a “preemptive” (i.e. unprovoked) attack against a relatively secular Muslim nation–especially at a time when religious fanatics had killed thousands of Americans and were vowing to kill thousands more–could never end up well.

… And Hillary Clinton supported that maneuver. As much as I support her vision for health care and education, I can’t come to terms with her vote on Iraq in 2002. Because the Iraq war is the ugliest and dumbest thing our country has done in a long time.

Read more of Richmond’s Why I Believe in Barack Obama here.