1. For some reason, the people who go to your store are rude. I have noticed it every time I have visited. Maybe you could hand out a booklet or something informing your customers of the existence of other people and encouraging them to say things like “excuse me” while in your store. Thoughts?

2. I don’t understand why the shelves I bought there in the past have doubled from $20 to $40. Is it because they sell well and have a huge profit margin? In any case, they are still black particle board that I have to put together myself.

3. Speaking of that, why does particle board, foam, and cheap fabric = $349? Please explain.

4. All of your sofas look like thrift store finds.

5. Since you are charging five cents for plastic bags now, I helped myself to a liberal amount of the free twine you have out front. I figure it’s only fair.

Thanks,
Joy Lanzendorfer

P.S. Someone…um…”used” one of your display toilets upstairs. Maybe you need to put up a sign, or include a section about that in the booklet I suggested. In any case, ew.

You make Lemon Meringue Bars.

Yesterday, I decided to try out one of my Mom’s recipes, a twist on lemon bars: shortbread crust, creamy lemon filling, and a layer of meringue on top. They are fantastic. The meringue is so fluffy, it makes the whole lemon bar seem light and delicate. I highly recommend these.

Kyle is getting a little tired of lemon dessert, though. Maybe I will move into savory lemon recipes next.

(My lemon tart)

UPDATE: Lemon Meringue Pie Bars Recipe

Crust:

1 c butter
.5 c powdered sugar
2 c flour
.25 tsp salt

Blend ingredients together and press into a 13X9 pan. Bake 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

Filling:

1.3 c sugar
.5 c cornstarch
dash of salt
1.75 c water
4 egg yolks, slightly beaten
2 Tbs butter
2 Tbs lemon zest
.5 c lemon juice (4 lemons?)

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Gradually add water and stir until smooth. Cook over medium heat until mixture boils, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir about half of the mixture into the egg yolks and then return the egg-yolk-mixture to the pan. Stir over low heat until mixture bubbles. Remove from heat. Stir in butter, zest, and lemon juice. Pour filling over crust.

Meringue

4 egg whites
.25 tsp cream of tarter
.5 c sugar

Beat ingredients until peaks form. Spread over hot filling.

Bake at 350 degrees until meringue is light golden brown, roughly 25 minutes. Refrigerate 1 hour or longer before serving.

What does a girl do when there is a writers strike and TV is even stupider than ever? Experience life more, you say? Go to concerts and plays and literary events? Have people over for food and sparkling conversation? No! She watches movies. Lots of movies. Here are some I’ve seen recently and what I think of them:

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead — David-Mamet-wannabe script, annoying clippy editing, overrated on all accounts.

Juno — Entertaining and sweet, despite quirky indie status.

Sweeney Todd — You know how in Kill Bill, the blood spurts ironically from people’s bodies in fight scenes? Blood spurting, not ironic here.

East of Eden — Was James Dean drunk when he made this movie? Why is he lying in a bean field? Oh no, now he is howling like a zombie. Watch out for zombie James Dean!

Broken English — Admirable. Parker Posey rocked, the writing is excellent, and character development/emotions are interesting and fresh. Nice to see an intelligent movie about a woman.

I Am Legend — A satisfying zombie flick. Will Smith is still cool. But the scene with the dog made me cry and cry and cry. And cry. Seriously. I was traumatized.

Sex and Death 101– Could someone explain to me what the hell happened to Winona Ryder?

I’m Not There — Refreshing to see a movie with a non-linear plot. Very enjoyable movie until Richard Gere appears. Then suddenly not a movie about Bob Dylan anymore–is a movie about Richard Gere being a cowboy.

The Waitress — Made me want pie.

I am bummed about Heath Ledger passing away. He was one of the few young actors I liked. To cheer us up, here’s Jerry O’Connell making fun of Tom Cruise.

(Transcript of the original video)

This weekend, I went snow-shoeing in Yosemite. It was the first time I have:

Gone camping in a national park

Stayed in a cabin covered with canvas

Done any sort of winter sport

Seen people ski

Snow-shoed

Snow-shoed on an expert trail

Eaten hot dogs in the snow

I had been to Yosemite a lot, but never with friends, and never to stay the night before. The park is much less crowded in winter and just as gorgeous.

El Capitan

The first day, we drove up to the park, found our cabin, and looked around Yosemite. By the Ansel Adams Gallery, a herd of deer were eating leaves in the snow.

We stayed in a heated tent/cabin–a wooden cabin frame covered with canvas. Yosemite at night is nearly as impressive as it is in the daytime. The snow glows in the moonlight, making for dramatic views even in the dark.

Sun setting on Half Dome.

The next day, we went snow-shoeing. As mentioned before, I had never done anything in the snow. In fact, I’ve only been in snow a handful of times in my entire life.

LtoR: Marcia, me, Kyle, Stephanie, Justin

We hiked up to Dewey Point, a 7-8 mile round-trip. At first, snow-shoeing was a lot of fun. It was surreal to see all the landscape covered with snow and to know we were walking on top of bushes. We didn’t see any wildlife–except for a spider–but we saw lots of cross-country skiers, all of whom looked exhausted to me.

Kyle jumping off a rock in his snow-shoes

Unfortunately, the trail we ended up on was somehow an expert level, which was a lot for the first time snow-shoeing. Turns out going up steep hills in show shoes is hard. On top of that, we were in a hurry because we wanted to make sure to get to the top of Dewey Point and back in time to return our snow shoes. I had a hard time keeping up with everyone.

However, at the top of the hill, we had hot dogs in the snow. Justin cooked them on his camping stove, which is a nifty little gadget. Having a hot dog picnic cheered me up.

Justin cooking the hotdogs

Dewey Point is alarmingly high up and there is nothing to prevent you from falling to your death. Kyle was very concerned I would fall, but I thought it was all completely awesome.

A shot of the drop–I believe that circle in the middle is a meadow covered with snow.

On the way back, we took an easier trail, which was a relief for me. Still, this was one of the hardest hikes I’ve ever done. It felt like we did 15 miles instead of 8 miles. Despite this, I’m really glad we went. Thanks to Justin and Stephanie for arranging it all.

Kyle and me at the top of Dewey Point

Could someone tell me what this plant is that is in my backyard? It’s a tree about 20 ft tall. It is covered with purple berries. The birds don’t seem to eat the berries, so they may be poisonous. The leaves seem to be turning yellow, so the plant may be deciduous (then again it could just be unhealthy).

I am thinking it might be an elderberry. Does anyone know? I am trying to decide whether to replace it or not.

Berries up close

The leaves

And a shot of the tree (it’s foggy today):

UPDATE: It is probably a Mexican Elder. The berries taste like leaves and have no juice. The plant is ugly, although it does provide a lot of privacy in the backyard.

Long term plan: Remove tree. Replace with an avocado?

This weekend I was sick with the stomach flu. I have never had one before. It’s horrible! I spent two days lying on the couch watching movies and fighting a 102 degree fever. I was so bored. Stupid!

Anyway, before getting sick, we got some things done on the house. For one thing, we installed a stackable washer and dryer.

I love this thing. It is so fast. And after having to carry laundry out to a garage, it’s a luxury to have a washer/dryer in the house.

Also, Kyle and my Dad fixed the trim in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. This was a difficult task because only half of the doorway was an actual framed doorway. The other half was a wall. (I don’t think you can see it in this picture, but it’s a nice “before” shot.)

To fix this problem, we had to build fake framework on the doorway, a complicated process that took a lot of time. The end result is pretty nice though:

(Notice how much wood floors darken in the first two months?)

Finally, I painted the guest room yellow and white. I know a lot of people hate yellow, but I like it. This is a nice buttery yellow that looks clean and fresh. It’s certainly better than the blue bunny wallpaper that was there before.

Are you guys done now, you may ask? Oh no. Not by a long shot. In 2008 comes: remodeling the bathroom. Painting the bedroom and hallway. Painting the outside of the house. Landscaping. Starting on the kitchen remodel. Buying and installing a dishwasher. Yep. There will be house updates for a long time to come. Hope you like them.

2006 was full of excitement and socializing. By contrast, 2007 was much slower and more introspective. In some ways I like that better, but there’s less to brag about at the end of it all.

My accomplishments for 2007 included:

Published in many magazines and newspapers
Bought a house
Judged a book contest
Drove across the U.S.A. (WHILE IN ESCROW, I might add)
Celebrated my 5-year wedding anniversary
Held the Word Pirates reading at the Phoenix

Got a kitten
Kyle published the sequel to Knoppix Hacks
Went to an opera
Planted a garden
Shot a gun
Went wine tasting, hiking, picnics, the zoo, etc.
Joined a church
Read over 80 books
Held a Kentucky Derby Party
Opened an Etsy store
Went to concerts and festivals
Painted, knitted, made jewelry, and was artsy in general
Turned 31

Here is a year-end survey (read my 2006 survey here):

Where did you begin 2007?

I don’t remember. I think Kyle and I were so tired after the usual Christmas escapades that we stayed home and played DDR.

What did you do this year that you’ve never done before?

I shot a gun, bought a house, judged a book contest, and drove across the USA

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did not keep as many as I usually do.

Did anyone close to you give birth this year?

Nope. My friends don’t seem to reproduce.

What countries did you visit this year?

Just the U.S.A., but a lot of it.

What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?

I would like to have some new things happen in my career

What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory – and why?

June 22, 2007, my five-year wedding anniversary.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Buying a house.

What was your biggest failure of the year?

There were quite a few failures this year, one of which was my garden. It just didn’t produce like I thought it would.

Made new friends?

Allan and Christy are our newest friends. Hooray!

Did you have any encounters with the police?

I got hassled a lot by The Man this year. I got tickets for not wearing my seatbelt and parking in wrong places, I had to go to court for accidentally skipping jury duty, I had taxes to deal with, and my car didn’t pass SMOG. The government bled money from me every month this year. Welcome to middle class, I guess.

What was the best thing you bought this year?

I guess I’m supposed to say the house, but my real answer is my new camera.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone is moving on up this year. Kyle published a book, Tony was in The New York Times, Marcia got a new awesome job at FM. 2007 was year of accomplishment for my friends.

Where did most of your money go this year?

The house. Taxes. Buying things for the house. The government. Eating out.

What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?

New Orleans reallyX3 excited me.

What music will always remind you of this year?

Amy Winehouse will remind me of this year because my liking her coincided with her becoming popular, and then becoming a pathetic drugged-out mess. Is there a metaphor in there somewhere?

Compared to this time last year, are you:

- happier or sadder? same
- richer or poorer? richer
- thinner or fatter? same

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Finished my novel. Man!! That is taking me a long time.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I ate out too much. Goofed off too much.

Any new additions to your family?

Quill the kitten

How did you spend the holidays?

Valentine’s Day — Kyle and I went to dinner at Underwood in Graton

Anniversary — Kyle and I went to Fleur De Lys in San Francisco, then to an opera, then spent the night in a hotel

July 4th — Some friends came over and we watched fireworks in downtown Petaluma

Kyle’s birthday — We went to Indian food and then to Bourbon and Branch in San Francisco

Halloween — Kyle and I watched a horror movie and ate pizza

Thanksgiving– Went up to my parent’s house in Mi-Wuk

My birthday — Kyle and I went to a fancy-pants Christmas party where we ate food and Kyle sang karaoke with a live band. The next day, we went to SFMoma and looked at art, and then out to French food with some friends.

Christmas — My parents came over and we had Christmas in our very own home.

What’s one thing you thought you’d never do but did in 2007?

Shooting a gun was something I wanted to try, and did, and probably won’t bother with again. It was fun, however.

What was your overall mood for the year?

I’m not sure what that means. I will say, this was a very introspective year for me. I spent a looooooooot of time examining how I do things and then devising systems and experiments to test my methods. I was my own science experiment this year.

What was your favorite TV program for the year?

The Office, followed by Flight of the Conchords

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word. There are people who are no longer in my life.

What was the best book you read this year?

I liked the last Harry Potter, Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, The Keep by Jennifer Egan, Women in Love by DH Lawrence, and Diane Middlebrook’s biography of Anne Sexton, which I am only halfway through. Finally, Six Figure Freelancing by Kelly James-Enger is a good, if practical, book.

What was your favorite film of the year?

I am apparently over films.

What albums did you like this year?

There were lots of good albums this year. Here is a mid-year rundown of some that I liked at the time. Modest Mouse, The Shins, Spoon, Arcade Fire, Wilco, and Iron and Wine also all had good new albums this year. Overall, the Winterpills was my favorite new discovery.

What concerts/shows did you see this year?

I saw an opera, The Decemberists, Flogging Molly, and someone else… who was it? Can’t remember now.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?

Ok, here’s the deal: I discovered my bra size is really 32-D, not 34-C, as I had thought all my life. And while that is good, it makes it hard to find bras that fit now, so I end up buying the 34-C anyway. Only now I know why the 34-C bra doesn’t fit correctly and it annoys me.

Who was the best new person you met this year?

Quill counts as a person, yeah?

What’s something you learned about yourself?

My actions don’t always match my goals. I am going to try to fix this in 2008

What are some things you would like to do in 2008?

I would like to publish a book, finish re-modeling the house, plant a big garden, eat at a restaurant specializing in molecular gastronomy, go to a tea in San Francisco, see what a spa is like, go camping, rent a cabin on a lake, see Kyle’s family at Christmas, and have some sort of vacation, even if it is a frugal one.

Do you think 2008 will be better or worse?

I hope it will be better.